OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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