he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
