I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
