a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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