You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You've changed since you got that strap on
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
