billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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