you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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