What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
