ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
