he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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