I'm going to jail i love you
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
