Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
