I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
