I can't watch pbs sober anymore
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
