Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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