Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
