I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
