im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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