It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
