So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
