I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
