I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Of course I have a pirate flag
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
