When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
