so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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