i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i believe in u and ur pee
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
