Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
