Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I still have a little drunk in my system
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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