it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
