I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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