stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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