the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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