yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
