There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
