I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize