So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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