I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
