Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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