The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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