Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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