I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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