You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
