That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
