porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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