i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
There r osticjed everywhere
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
