I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
