I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize