addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
