he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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