I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
