East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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