i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
