So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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