I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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