He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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