So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
