I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
