"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
