Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i now understand why vodka
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
